商务英语写作实战:学习是为了超越——“老司机的金句库”
原创 王琼输出的力量
——1——
学习是为了超越
我们学习了不少商务英语写作的规定动作,经过刻意练习,希望你把一个写作的雏形能够搭建起来。让我们先活下来再闪耀;先掌握规定动作再发展自选动作。
在商务英语写作中,自选动作的表现是灵活驾驭语句表达的能力。我建议的学习方法依然是——先抄,再超;先会,再好!
商务英语和其他能力一样,只要是能力就要确保输出的稳定性,大概率输出某一正确的行为。比如打网球,次次发球不出界,能过网,回球到位,这就是打网球的能力。那么写作,有目的、有结构、有结论,就像一个人的骨架肌肉已经组织起来,接下来就是“Nice to have.”
那么,哪些是“Nice to have”呢?我要奉上一个“老司机的百宝箱”。
——2——
“老司机的百宝箱”
不妨先问一问:我们和高手的区别在哪里?高手能用一招能千变万化,而生手却要到处去找千变万化的招术。
举个例子:活用。
在下面的这句话中:…the value outweighs the cost.
“outweigh”是一个合成词,"weigh"是重量,“out”是超过。于是一个活用的招术就形成了___out_____(做动词),就是“超越”的意思。那么这句话,我们可以有千变万化的写法,但都脱胎于一个招术:
The value outruns…outplays…outperforms…outspeak,等等,它们都可以表示超越。这样的活用可以让我们大幅简少记忆单词的负担。
再来看语句结构中的连接。
很多学员一开始写作的方式要么是一个个短句,有点像“Zombie僵尸”,两只手平举在前面,两脚往前跳着走,好像很久以前我们看过的鬼片里的画面,让人感到“僵化、僵硬、僵死”的状态,如果都这么写,就让文字失去了生命力。
当然,另一个极端就是长句不断,写作中充斥着大量的定语从句、状语从句,如:which, where, however,还没有逻辑。有时,一个长句连标点都没有,生生有把读者的肺活量逼出天花板或者直接逼到背过气去的气势,长篇大论而不知所云。
其实,解药很简单。我总结了一个“老司机的金句库”,你可以把下面我所罗列出来的关联语句或者关联词贴在工位上或电脑旁,我们可以根据场景像乐高玩具一样灵活组合使用这些简洁有效的衔接句子或词组。
Win with words of wisdom.
Opening: getting the reader’s attention
Regarding/Referring to your letter dated
Thank you for your letter/fax/memo dated
We are pleased to receive your letter dated
We would like to inform you/announce...
We apologize for the delay in replying to your letter dated of...
As you requested, we are sending you...
It has come to our attention that...
Body:clarifying and arranging the first thing first
To develop in chronological order/time sequence
The actions we have taken are as follows:
First... Second... Third...
For the time being...
To begin with...In the meanwhile... Previously...
Subsequently... Consequently... Simultaneously...
To develop by examples and comparisons and contrasts
For instance... For example...
Generally speaking... In other words... For the most part...
By contrast...
In spite of ... Despite that... Nevertheless... Nonetheless... Instead of...
On the one hand...; on the other hand...
To develop by summary
On the whole... In brief... In conclusion...
To sum up...Ultimately...
To develop by cause and effect
The reasons are as follows...
...is responsible for...
...is caused by...... is resulted from... ... will lead to...
Closing: asking for action
We are looking forward to hearing from you.
Your prompt attention to this matter is highly appreciated.
If you have any questions/need any further information or help, please do not hesitate to contact me/please feel free to get in touch with me at the address...
Thank you again for your timely assistance.
We apologize again for any inconvenience that may have caused you.
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本质化的思考,差异性的表达
为什么要用这些表达方式呢?
因为它们充满了流畅而富有逻辑关联的转折词,用好它们,我们的写作带给读者的感受就像“老司机”给“领导”开车,顺滑流畅,不论是上下坡、转弯还是趟过颠簸路面,车里的“领导”(读者)都不会感到生涩卡顿、上蹿下跳,他们还是能一如既往滴专注看文件,不被路面的石子坑洼所影响到——这才是功力的体现。
在培训中,我会引导学员们来做几轮游戏。
1)要求你只能从以上列表中的句子或词组选择开头、发展和结束的方法,在不同场景中快速组成一篇完整的商务英语写作的内容。
2)时间控制在3~5分钟以内。
情景一:你是培训部人员,需要写一份邀请大家参加商务英语写作课程的邮件,请注意:开头-发展-结束。(建议:
1)We would like to inform you/announce...
2)The arrangements are as follows: First... Second... Third...
3)We are looking forward to hearing from you.)
情景二:你是学员,上完了这个培训课程,要写一封感谢的邮件给培训部的同事。(建议:
1)Thank you for your training dated…
2) I like the course very much. Generally speaking... In other words... For the most part...
3)Thank you again for your timely assistance.)
情景三:你是学员,上完了培训课,不太满意,要写一封投诉信发给培训经理。(建议:
1)It has come to our attention that some colleagues were not very pleased with the training…
2)On the whole... In brief... In conclusion...
3)Your prompt attention to this matter is highly appreciated.)
情景四:你是培训经理,凡有投诉必须回复,要写一封回复的邮件,表达慰问,理解,并要提出改进的方法。(建议:
1) Regarding/Referring to your letter dated; / We apologize for the delay in replying to your letter dated of...;
2) The actions we have taken are as follows:
To begin with...In the meanwhile, ...
3) If you have any questions/need any further information or help, please do not hesitate to contact me/please feel free to get in touch with me at the address...)
这些老司机常用的经典语句分为几个场景,我们需要了解:
哪些适合开篇表达感谢,适合投诉,或适合通知;
哪些适合中间发展,如:时间、原因、逻辑、列举要素;
哪些适合结束使用,我们可以直接“抄作业”,圆融完整地实现写作的目的和效果。
——4——
最后的话
所以,会记单词并不是商务英语写作的法宝,会用才是。
会5000个单词并不是写好商务英语的基本要求,把500个单词用活才是。
会写长句并不是商务英语写作好的表现;写得短而有效才是。
依靠AI翻译、查词典并不是写好商务英语写作的必要条件;查什么、知道什么是窍门和敲门砖才是。
英语好并不是商务英语写作好的充要条件;找到成功方法,按套路学套路,把套路变现有效果才是真道理。
读者说好,才是好;有结果,才是够效果;有好的结果,才是高效输出的力量。让我们做到笔胜于剑、落笔无悔。
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